I have my dream job, running a historic house…. But the
house is in a park run by a different agency, and they are not very work place friendly…
I find myself hating it… coming home
angry… This has been going on for some
time… increasingly for the last 6 months
or so…
Friends, at work, send my daughter texts warning her
occasionally, including today… I am not happy… I am headed home… this is not good.
If it was my agency, I could file a grievance… work out things with my boss ( I trust my boss, love my boss....) but it is not
my agency… it is someone else’s… and they are not as responsive… no, they are
just not responsive… they are the back side of a donkey....
So, I find myself reevaluating where I want to be… It turns
out I really don’t need to work… I am of a certain age…. There are savings and
inherited IRA’s… If I don’t have a job I will still eat… I will have money for beer…
I will have more time for what I want to
do… I may not do as much foreign travel… but travel will still be an option… The desert trip would be easy…
I would save a bunch on my commute… If I do the house
cleaning instead of the “service” that would be more savings… Maybe enough for an occasional trip overseas… Add the beer I wouldn’t be drinking out of
anger when I get home to calm down would help too…
A part time job could fill in the missing income… Maybe a
tour guide for tourists… or a job in a hardware store… If I took a job as a
store manager (lots of experience… really good at it once at a time) I wouldn’t
be cutting back at all…
Frustration has caused me to review how, when and why I work…
I find that on my days off I find (repeating myself... angry... ranting....) myself at work… mostly… if on vacation I am
released… but last vacation I started at work… left at noon, and returned to
work that evening… so, if on vacation, away, released… but otherwise on call…
and at work… work is important… there is a commitment to the job… but … there
have to be boundaries… but here seem to be none… so if home, not free… I think I am beginning to
understand….
We have a project currently… to rebuild the foundations ( seismic
upgrades), Heat (for the first time)
electrical upgrades, paint, and floors (varnish)… it is scheduled to be
completed January 16th 2013… we are currently closer to completion
than ever before (but not done…) The project is sill unfinished... I work around the project... but increasingly, not with the project....The project, my goal has become a nightmare...
But, I love my job, and the house, and the site… but I dread
going to work each day…
Something has to change…
The alternative is drinking too much…at home later...
I need to be in a place where I don’t drink too much…
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