The Garden

I am spending most of the next couple of days in the garden…  It is spectacular.  Yesterday was the longest day of the year, the solstice… I have an urge to strip down and paint myself blue…  (please ignore that… )

For too long  I have ignored the back yard… instead I spent my weekends and my weekdays at work caring for a different house.

The vegetable garden is beginning to pop… I was late getting it in this year… I planted tomatoes  in May instead of late March or early April…  but they are getting big, and there is one tomato ripe, ready to pick… it’s a cherry, so not a big deal, but it is a tomato in June…  the first squash is ready too… a yellow crookneck… unlike the tomatoes there are many more squash nearly ready.

I picked a cup of blue berries last weekend… I will pick a cup again this weekend…  Yummy blue berries… 

I had to extend the bean trellis… they grow as much as a foot a day… This is promising…

The sisters garden (corn, beans, and pumpkins in a single bed) is growing, but I will plant more corn and beans today…  filling in the spots where the feral cats disrupted the seeds in search of a cat box…  I have a feeling that this year the concept may work (the sisters garden, not the “garden as cat box”…).

The cats (indoor cats, not the outdoor feral beasts…) have finished off the second pot of cat grass… there are two more planted, just sprouting…  nearby are sunflower and lettuces seedlings… for some reason a tray of nasturtiums never sprouted…  I planted two varieties from two different seed packets…  and nothing happened… I may replant…  I moved 4 pots of the sunflowers seedlings to a large pot… at the edge of the grape arbor… at 3 weeks they are over a foot tall…  I need to find homes for the other 12 pots of seedlings… then plant something new in the pots…

Meanwhile in back I continue to cut back the three years of ivy, and bottle brush, a Larch, and other fast growing green things that have taken over one side of the yard…  I ordered a second green bin from our local garbage company… at a cost of $3.00 per month… each green bin holds 4 garbage cans of green cuttings…  two hold just about what I want to cut back each week…  If I get very ambitious I will find a trailer and make a dump run or two…. Maybe later in the summer…  

I am building a couple of tall raised beds… laying pavers… running irrigation lines…  It is becoming a construction project.  I am looking thought my bins of supplies in the shed, finding that much of the needed material is there…  Finding forgotten tools… Even rebuilding the fence looks like fun.

The garden is my happy place.

63 days and counting... A study in the use of parenthesis

I think if you say you are thinking of retiring, you have already retired…

John Madden

He was speaking of sports stars… nearing the end of their careers… and their public stance as their careers ended… but…

It also speaks to all of us… (or at least me)

A month or so ago I decided to retire…The decision was quick… not planned… but based on some information and an unexpected trigger… 

I went from “I work here” to “I am retiring” in just over 24 hours... The morning of the second day I quit… First came disbelief and a hope that I was just angry and would get over it (I was and wouldn’t) Then came the realization and the negotiations…  “When are you retiring?” (we decided on late August)  and “will you stay until we find someone?” (Within reason, hence the roughly 90 days) followed after I turned in the written letter of resignation by “do you mean it” (yes)

So, now working out my roughly 90 some days.  I find that Madden was right…  once you say “it” (retired) you are (retired)…

I have seen others who set a retirement date… then retire in fact earlier… in effect abandoning the job while continuing to hold a spot in the organization and collect a pay check while holding up a single finger toward their fellow employees… (In general employees leaving don’t actually raise their middle finger… but based on their actions, they might as well)

Additionally, there is a “understanding” among public employees (or an expectation by public employers) that we, the public employees should give more than the typical 2 weeks notice…  We after all are sworn public employees, with extra responsibilities… (We are expected to report to work in time of public emergencies, and if we don’t, we can be fired or possibly prosecuted…) 

So, I have quit, as so, I am no longer committed to the job… but still committed to the house, and the volunteers and fellow staff left behind… to abandoned them would be abandoning friends…  The job, not so much…  I am really trying to not raise the middle finger, in actuality or or by actions taken or not...

So I am trying to meet commitments… attend the meetings… keep down the snarky… and I got just got screwed…  I changed long standing personal plans to attend a meeting to support a project I believed in… a project which had been canceled before the meeting, but no one told me… so I missed an event which I had long planned to attend… for nothing…  This brings back the anger that lead to the decision to leave… had it not been for the ones left behind (particularly Barb) today would have probably been my last day. Done, over…

Meanwhile folks, some of the ones left behind, were changing things around my job… not to be mean… but to solve their problems and try to transition… but in the process were dumping stuff in my bucket… a bucket long overfull without capacity to accept more manure…  They did not intend to cause my bucket to overflow… that was an unintended consequence… but now I am standing ankle deep in crap…

To make matters worse, the puddle of crap makes me less effective, less productive, less able to care as I work our my days… which leads to additional frustration… and more anger…

Meanwhile I am trying to address un-related work issues… and others are apparently playing games… Some (outside both mine and “the other” organization) are assuming I am leaving, and trying to re-arrange the deck chairs, looking for an advantage…  not understanding I am, for now still here…  They are saying thing to people... They are sending emails… emails forwarded to me… the whole non-sense confirms the decision to leave.  Eventually the emails are likely to lead to a confrontation… (“You, sir (”Sir” being unearned term of (dis)respect) are a damn liar”) (hint, don’t be a damn liar))

So, in the end… there is a job to do, that I don’t care about… and people doing stupid things around me, which once I might have over looked, things that are making me angry… 

Again… thinking about changing the last day…

Hot…

The weather this weekend is forecast to be hot… the hottest so far this year…  over 100 degrees inland…a year that so far has seemed warmer than recent past years.

I welcome the hot weather…  The garden is in and will benefit…  I enjoy the heat… more than most people.  I have on more than one occasion visited Death Valley in the summer…  Sunset Magazine has an article on the crazy people who visit Death Valley in the summer…  By logical deduction based on Sunset as an authoritative source, you may now assume I am one of the crazy people…

I also visit Death Valley in other seasons… most recently last March, but previously New Years week… each time I visit it is different, each time compelling…   In March I was camped on an alluvial fan… In December I stayed at Furnace Creek Ranch…  In mid-summer (many years ago) I was camped in an empty Furnace Creek camp ground…  We ended up sleeping on the golf course… under the sprinklers… after all, it was hot…

Here, along the coast, long the bay, it won’t be that hot… just hot enough to want to cook outside… to sleep with the windows open and enjoy the evening, at least until the heat driven winds kick up and the fog moves in… 

Here, at home, the heat is what makes the garden grow…  here, heat is our friend… as long as there is water enough, with heat the plants grow… with more heat they grow faster… if later in the year fruit would ripen with the heat…  so with the garden in and established, the heat is welcome…  beans are climbing 6” in a day… tomatoes are setting fruit… corn is sprouting… 

The last several summers have been short on hot…  We have a water park at work, aka… the place I formerly worked… and the weather since we opened It has not been hot… and business has not be as robust as expected… we (or the group of which I once was one of the we of…) have great hopes for this summer…  

Back to the garden… I find myself out, hand watering morning and evening…  part of a series or rituals that include walking the dogs and feeding the pigeons…  The pigeons now an important source of manure for the garden…  All part of the circle…

I am planting the third round of corn… a second round of lettuces… a third round of basil… all extending the bounty that the garden will soon grow into…

Over several years, the garden, the yard has become overgrown… but with new found free time comes time to work in the garden and yard… Today I ordered a second green bin to hold the garden debris  that comes with more free time…   I am making good progress, but with progress comes more debris… so a second green bin…  each decision leads to another…  so retirement leads to two green bins and $3.00 per month… 

And as I write this outside the smoker sits, heat hovering at 160 degrees… a pork shoulder, some ribs inside… the heat is coming from hardwood charcoal… augmented with grape cuttings from the vines overhead…  not this year’s cuttings, instead last year’s cuttings… stored in a spare trash can… now dry… ready for the smoker… such is the way of the garden…  the circle…  

I tend to the smoker… adding charcoal… adding grape vine cuttings… I “mop” the pig with the vinegar marinade… creating piggy goodness…  It is my dirty little R2-D2 unit… dome top… full of piggy goodness…

So, its hot… and all about the garden and the smoker and food… 

And 79 days to retirement…  (But who is counting? (beyond me))

Randy

I may be retired, part V… We have a Date!

It turns out retiring is hard work… saying “I quit” doesn’t cut it…

There are forms and letters and a negotiations with people who I care about, about when I will not do what… (Previously, before retirement, the negotiations were when I would do what…)   This ”I am not doing this” is powerful… I don’t want to abuse it…  The people I am leaving behind are friends (mostly… there are “them” too, a don't care a rat's behind about the "Them")

To retire, I need to send a letter including the last day I expect to work… and I have to fill out “long form tax return” size document to trigger my pension… and that document needs a date, along with my name and such, my employer’s name and such, and direct deposit information so they can send the check…  Those checks are important, so I shall fill out the paperwork…

So, we need a date… the boss and I sat down, talked about it and I pulled a date out of by backside… August 30^th, a Friday… This is not necessarily the last day I work, or the last day I am officially working…  I have vacation that could make the last day earlier or later… there is a commitment to help hire and train my replacement… so the date is better described as a goal or negotiating point… or maybe a math problem…

But with a date I can start a countdown…   It is 81 days, but within that there are 13 weeks, with 24 days off…  with one day off after the 30 and one yesterday,  so really it is 57 work days…  It would be 56 if I take the July 4^th Holiday into account, but I am not taking it off… so 57 days to go… 

Back to the math problem… come August 30^th, there will still be accrued vacation… some accrued before “The decision”, but a week or of time, or so, after the announcement but before August 30th... so I may still be gainfully employed (aka, a paycheck) though much of the month of September…   If I work it out right, I may retire while in Istanbul…  on a previously planned vacation… 

I want to retire while in some exotic local... Istanbul works... 

A new goal…

I may have retired, part IV

This whole thing has been building for a long time… but came to a climax quickly…

Some of my friends and co-workers know… others don’t… I haven’t made a formal, public statement…  I am trying not to… I am trying to keep my head down…  getting a good plan in place… before saying goodbye…

I am sitting down with my boss and working out details Monday…  It’s not her fault… she is not one the evil ones…  We need to set a date… a date I am done… but that is complicated… who will step in… we will likely need a temporary person quickly, followed by a permanent successor… I have suggested duty changes, and job description changes… but due to short time line and sense of urgency, we are likely just to look for a new me…

As people find out there are questions…  Those at the park are asking why I don’t sue the bastards…  Basically, it comes down to an old farm saying…

“Never wrestle with a pig, you will both end up covered in mud, and the pig will enjoy it…”

But, further, it would be complicated… I would have to sue my employer… they are not at fault… the bastards from the other agency are… but that isn’t how employment law works…  I may be in a hostile work place (so designated by my employer) but I am not a protected class…

But, also, it’s the thing about the pig… and the need to embrace the pig if that is your chosen route.

Strangely, I once tried to catch a greased pig… it was a rodeo, in Lake Isabella, California… it must have been the early 1960’s…  One of the events pitted a mob of kids against a small pig… a small greased pig… a really fast small greased pig… If you could run fast enough, and grab it and hold on you would win the pig…  I didn’t win…  I think Meale Haggard may have preformed at that rodeo…  This was after he spent time in San Quentin, but before he made it big in 1968… maybe it was a different year…   It was a long time ago, in a place far away…  Buck Owens may have played there as well… again, maybe a different year.  To this day, I have a fondness for Bakersfield Country music…

Back to the farm… there are rumors… lots of rumors… rumors about what happened.  There are farm rumors (some include behaviors which if true and if prosecuted would be felonies… I didn’t witness any such behavior… as a central figure in my private drama, it likely didn’t happen, so I discount such rumors),  but also rumors about the “Them”  and threats made, and actions to be taken, and unrelated changes in their organization… people leaving the farm for other sites, people retiring without notice, at least one of who is one of the “evil ones”…(based on my experience).   But, in general, I have come to learn not to believe the rumors until confirmed…  

One complicating issue… I am not the only city employee retiring… there are a number of us… and HR is apparently overwhelmed with recruitments… 

Currently I am working to an end of June end of work…  It is likely they will call me back when the new person starts, but for now… July 1^st is my target…  I may get July 4^th off for the first time in 12 years… I may not attend the Cajun Zydeco festival, or if I do, I may get to see the music…

I have not settled with the idea of being retired sufficiently to plan post work activities… that will come… but not yet… finish with the work world first.

There is a group of park citizens… the same ones listening to rumors… spreading rumors… suggesting law suits who are threatening to take action… action that looks like outrage and pitchforks and torches and generally ugly behavior…  not specifically about me (I am the central figure in my drama, but not necessary in theirs)  I hope to quite those… we don’t need pitchforks and torches… they don’t help anything…  the “Them” needs to crash before it can seek treatment… 

But, if I may have free time… (and I may) I am thinking, not quite planning yet; house improvement projects, gardening, and a couple of research trips… one to Tonopah… maybe to the back side of Death Valley… into hot places… There is another possible project in Colorado… 

It is all about change, and how it can be handled gracefully…  I am going for graceful…  and I don’t think grace and pigs go together well.