There is a moment, in
a bad situation, when you know you don’t care about the likely consequences of
any possible action you might take… and
once you know you can accept that, you are free to act…
Things at work have not been good recently… and came to a
head over the last 36 hours… It is unusually complicated… I work for a government
agency, on a site my agency owns, but leases to a second government agency.
My issues are with the other agency… issues known to my
agency… but the process of dealing with issues across two agencies are not
clear… and complicated… I trust my agency;
I don’t trust the other…
Over the last two years I have had an employee of the other
agency threaten me physically… I have been accused to trying to run one of
their managers over with my car (I didn’t, but based on the first paragraph, I
now might if offered the opportunity
(that is what is called black humor… I don’t plan on any violent acts)) Along the way, my staff members have been
yelled at… a gate may have been locked in the face of guests preventing them from
entering the farm… more than once…
There is also the little stuff, which with time, builds to
big stuff… lack of communication, like failing to tell us about planned events…
about weddings… about much of anything…
I am in the middle
between “them” and my staff and volunteers, making excuses for “them” and keeping my head
down…. I am pretty much done with that.
I have filed complaints with them, with my agency, about
actions… informal complaints… and formal complaints… My agency has acknowledged I may be working
in a “hostile work environment” but have few options to change anything… The
rules of solving problems assume we all work for one employer.
Sadly, I am a volunteer for the “other” agency, (“Them”) with
some 27 years and over 6,000 hours of volunteer time… In theory I am an honored volunteer…
It does not help that I am expected to generate income my
agency… income beyond what is generally generated by a historic house, so have
been doing summer camps and such… which require coordination with the “other”
agency… (“them”) and raises the tension level…
Now, I suspect my time at Patterson House is coming to a
close… and I am sadly welcoming the
change… but have a concern… for the last 12 years, I have been the house’s
custodian… and the volunteers leader…
while leaving I need to assure the house and volunteers are ok… and things go
on… all the while raising middle finger high in the direction of the others… (the “them”)
My frustration has been building… but you may have guessed
that…
So yesterday, I left the farm on an errand… and received a phone call from someone
suggesting that the other agency was taking a provocative action… I chose to
run other unplanned errands… staying away… Sometimes the high ground is outrage
rather than confrontation. But also… you
shouldn’t be outraged by things that might happen… only those that have
happened...
This morning I got to work, and found that outrage was justified. I waited until staff and volunteers arrived... made sure there was coverage... then left... went and talked to my boss for a while... to a couple of colleagues, then went home and worked in the garden and took the dogs for a walk... Spent some time on the computer writing... early on the statement which became the first paragraph popped out, and things got easier...
So, I am done… I can’t work there anymore… I won’t work there anymore… but that is ok... We are back to
the first paragraph. The moment in a bad situation…
Randy
Note… there are references above to at least a couple of
public agencies… I was intentionally vague… Friends and colleagues know who I
am talking about… In the past I might
have been concerned about violating my agencies internet policies and potentially
losing my job… but I am past that…. See
the first paragraph…
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