A couple of weeks ago, the hot news story concerned Steven Slater, a Jet Blue flight attendant, who having put up with one too many rude passengers, effectively resigning his position is a somewhat spectacular manor… After the plane reached the boarding gate, he cursed the passenger over the PA system, grabbed two beers, deployed the emergency slide, and exited the airplane… He then drove home, where the police found him and arrested him for criminal mischief. How can anyone who has flown much (at least those of us who fly “economy”) not smile when we hear the story…
If anything, it is a wonder that this doesn’t happen more often.
In the 1950’s airline travel was glamorous… In the 1960’s it was still exciting, and for most of us a bit exotic. Today it’s more like an exercise in packing sardines… particularly for those of us who fly coach playing the part of the dead fish…
In some ways we share the blame… we all want to fly for as little as possible… we don’t want to pay baggage fees (and are apparently too stupid to compare advertised fares that do and don’t include a fee for luggage or taxes or what ever new and exiting extra fee the industry is currently charging for basic services) or wait for bags at the luggage carousel. So we accept the tiny seats, too much oversize carry on luggage and clamor for the coveted emergency exit row seating…
In the last year I have been on several flights (in this case both Northwest) where guests were forced to “gate check” luggage either in the jet way, or once aboard the flight, because the overhead bins were filled with oversize wheelie bags roughly the size of a Victorian steamer trunk. Not just the last few guests, but fully one third of the guests were forced to surrender their precious luggage. Making the whole thing more uncomfortable was the informal process and lack of receipts for the bags surrendered in the jet way, or even better, once aboard, the stewardess walking down the aisle offering baggage tags to anyone who asked… proof of having checked a bag not required… Some ended up with extra tags, others without… fine if the bag is waiting for you when you arrive, but not so fine if your bag has been sent on a trip to Peoria by itself. Conversations with the flight attendants suggested that this was not a unique event, but instead happened every time… making the flight late, and both the passengers and crew grumpy. By the way, the same folks who had to surrender their bags also found a shortage of pillows and blankets…
On two recent occasions my flight (in this case both on SouthWest) has been delayed as passengers were fighting over seats… really... screaming, yelling, threatening physical violence and stomping feet... once we even returned to the gate, where we were met by the police, three passengers were lead off, and after an investigation one was allowed to return to the plane… the primary aggressor was a 60 something not-so-sweet little old lady, with support from her somewhat doddering husband… Flying has gotten so bad that we are driving grandma postal… and shame on South West for not assigning seats in advance, and creating the stamped for seats as well as luggage space… The other airlines have figured out how to do it… you don’t even have to account for the numbered check in tags anymore now that you have trained us all find a computer exactly 24 hours ahead to print our own boarding passes so we can line up in numerical order. In both cases the flight attendants were on the PA asking for us to all stow our luggage and find a seat so the “flight can leave on time” even though we has been delayed because out plane wasn’t at the gate at boarding time…
Not all bad situations are the airline’s fault… but that doesn’t make it any better when you are the passenger seated next to Charles, age 8, flying alone from Tampa to Denver… Charles was bored out of his skull and entertained himself for some time by poking me and saying “I’m not touching you.”
Once aboard and hopefully seated, it appears that many people don’t follow rules as well as we collectively once did… This is an issue when flying. Airplanes are full of rules, well though out rules, Federal rules, to make it safe for those of us who chose to be strapped into a sardine can and streak across the sky at speeds above 500 miles an hour… we have to sit down, buckle up, seat backs in the full upright position for takeoff and landing… There are lots of rules, and the flight attendants are the enforcers… They are also supposed to get us coffee and drinks, peanuts and snacks, sooth our fears about connecting flights, and in the event of an emergency, evacuate the plane in under 2 minutes… all while being cheery and hospitable. They have a lot of duties and don’t need to referee a fight between grandma and the man sitting in the seat she wants, and defiantly shouldn’t need to remind adults to stay seated until the plane reaches the gate…
In fairness to the industry, I have had a some pretty good flights in the last year… several on Delta, particularly a couple of international flights (to and from South America) and of course, every time I fly my beloved Virgin America…
Having made the obligatory compliment, I have to say that charging for the first checked bag is the worst idea that the airlines have ever had… I understand the need for additional income… I have to believe that many of my fellow travelers are too stupid to know that a $200.00 flight on United (and most other airlines, including my beloved Virgin America) really costs $225.00 with a checked bag, while the $200.00 Southwest flight really costs $200.00 (unless you want early bird check in, so you can find a nice seat and a place for your steamer trunk, in which case it will cost you $210.00.) Do the airlines not understand that the checked baggage fee encourages people to drag on to the airplane a volume of luggage slightly smaller than the baggage train that accompanied Napoleon’s army when he invaded Russia? No wonder there is a shortage of space in the overhead compartment. Yes, charge for overweight bags, yes, charge for the second bag, add $10.00 to the price of a ticket, enforce the carry-on rules… but don’t charge for the first checked bag…
I wouldn’t be surprised to see another Stew or two tell her employers to “Take this job and shove it…” as they slide down the evacuation slide while drinking a cold one… hopefully they have read the emergency card (located in the seat back in front of you) and have remembered to take their shoes off first… Enjoy the beer
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